Before, there were always presents that would be mine if I could score and did very well for the examinations.. if I managed to get number 1, 2 or 3 in my class, my dad will give me everything that I wish without hesitation..i used to be a best student..so every year, I will get at least two present as there were two final examinations..and for PMR, I got a family package to Melbourne, Australia for a week..miss that moment..for UPSR, I got NOKIA 3310 which was around rm5oo that time, and I insisted on using Line, not prepaid..so I will ensure myself to entitle to the present by studying smart and do well in exams..This had boosted up my spirit to study since there would be something waiting for me..my success were paid off !!
After, everything has been different..my dad’s business had bankrupt and we are facing hardships in going through our life until now..no more present for our present..and from that moment, I wasn’t one of the best student..my spirit has gone..i only managed to achieve 6As 2Bs for my PMR and 6As for SPM..due to this bad living, Allah has gave me good mind (akal)..i scored well during my pre degree in Law and here I am right now doing degree in law in UiTM Shah Alam.. Alhamdulillah..now, im waiting for my first sem result..i don’t know how could it be..the study has been more challenging and totally difficult..i could not do well during the exams and believe me, I was study that hard and smart for this exams..i just tired and bored of reading the textbooks..if I did not get good result this sem..i know why..
But, although this situation happens to me..no more gift for my hardwork..im still grateful because im not a spoiled brat..if my father fulfill all my wish,I might be forgetful and maybe sometime be ungrateful..there must be something why this happens to me.. Im not regret…
Before, my family was a rich family..we lived in luxury..we got more than enough foods, clothes, and our lifestyle was always updated..every month we will go for a vacation..we would always have a birthday party..and our Aidil Fitri and Aidil Adha would be the most wanted moments in our life..i miss all those moment..we would have an open day..first day of Raya, we will heading to our village..in Marang and Gong Badak, Terengganu..we will meet all my uncles and aunts as well as cousins and of course we will get many AngPows..
After, my family financial was unstable up until now..we live in ‘serba kekurangan’ and something we cant even get something which is considered as basic need..our foods are totally changed..sometime we just eat rice with ketchup (cap kipas udang)..we rarely buy new clothes..and sometime our friends could easily remember all of our clothes..my friend did ask me one day..”baju ni lagi ko pakai..takda baju lain ke”..i was quite ashamed that time..and seriously that time I could think rational and started to blame my dad for all these..he called me, I wasn’t answered..the most unwanted days for us would be Aidil Fitri and Aidil Adha..because we don’t have any special dishes for that day and sometime we need to close our main door to avoid people to come and visit us..even sometime my friends texted me,informing their arrival to my house,but I intended create a reason to avoid them..i don’t want to feel ashamed of our Aidil Fitri’s condition..we would rarely go to our village in Marang and Gong Badak..dont get much AngPows and sometime not get even one..
But, this has taught me to be strong and tough in facing all difficulties in life..i might not feel any luxuries that others hope in my age ( cars..car’s license.. )..i might not have any cars..motocycle..license..but I still get the most happiness that some does not have which is a love from my parents, siblings and friends. Sometimes moral support from all my friends may put me in better condition and emotions..im thankful to God for giving me good parents that love me and still can teach me what is right and what is wrong..and still try all hard to earn our living..Alhamdulillah..
Im writing this not because I want people to sympathy towards me or feel sad for me.. I don’t need that at all.. I just wanna share what I have been going through all these while.. and im hoping that for those who are in the same boat with me, would think the same way as me or better than me..sometime money is important..but money cant buy love..money can bring us total happiness that all human granted for..what we need to do is that be grateful and don’t forget our roots and where are we come from..Insya Allah, Allah will see our sincerity and gives us happiness that we are hoping for all these while..if not now,it might be in the future..
Till Then, Thank You.. Good Night..